Psychologically Philosophic

2010-08-18T01:22:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get so lost in my thoughts, that if I don't watch out, I misplace things, have little mishaps, or lose track of the time...

Rocky Rodie

2010-08-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

My Life is like a Rocky Road Ice Cream...

Full of mud.
Full of stones.
Full of challenges.
Full of hindrances.

But nevertheless, SWEET.♥

Cliche♠

2010-06-02T04:45:00.001-07:00

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Baloney. The paradox within is incorrect as far a realism is concerned. It’s nothing more than a cliche. The equation tells us that change is not equal to staying the same. Change, after all, is a phenomenon where everything degrades or upgrades, depending on the situations.

The days somehow dragged me to thinking that no one or nothing stays the same (except death and change and..(?)).

Recalling the moments of sentimental letters where most of our friends tell us to stay the way were are “because we are fine the way we are” or “don’t ever change” made me laugh. It wasn’t funny, actually. I found it quite immature (man, what’s the right term?). Even more so when I remembered I replied “Promise I will never change” to those letters.

Everything changes.

No matter how much we try to take hold of the past, we’ll all see that our friends would probably prefer doing something else other than what we usually do. They’ll stick with their present ties and probably ditch you with an emotional appealing excuse. They might find the old-fashioned chit chats boring already. And they might find that we are now too insignificant to be worth mentioning.

It sucks. I know.

We’ll always go back to the place where we built our castle.
We’ll always go back to where we made those secret handshakes.
We’ll always go back to the times when dvd marathons were a must for a perfect reunion.
We’ll always go back to to the times when everything in the world was against us and always stood out the victor.

Yes, we can always go back.

But things will never be the same again.

A couple of months ago... I came up with this;

2010-05-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

It's a Sign

"What are you doing, Mrs. Bass?"

Blair paused, clutching a purple long-sleeved polo in her hands. She then dropped it on the floor where her husband saw the rest of his clothes, and faced him with a smile.

"Oh, nothing, Mr. Bass." She said, cocking her head, letting her hair fall to the side. "Just cleaning up your closet. These colors are so last year. Haven't you heard? Glittering gold and yellow are so getting the attention."

Mr. Bass. Mrs. Bass. It had been their terms of endearment after they had said their "I dos" to each other. Chuck had been hesitant at first. It had a pang of the memory of his father and his mother. They were Mr. And Mrs. Bass, after all. But it seemed to hit him that they are Chuck and Blair, Blair and Chuck, finally together for the rest of their lives.

He smirked. "You don't have to do that. And I certainly don't look good in yellow."

"Oh you do!" She slapped his chest that surprised him, certainly with how she looked angry and with the rising tone in her voice.

"Blair, are you—"

Her kiss intercepted his words. "Off to work now. Buh-bye. And Oh, do me a favor. Lose the tie. It's hideous."

Ignoring the homicide she had just committed to his Armani collection, Chuck was primarily concerned with his wife's sudden change in attitude. Since they've been married, he saw Blair's transition and she turned quite mature. She wasn't jealous anymore if Chuck spoke to other women. She'd been much less of a control freak and she certainly was doing a great job as a creative director for a fashion magazine. It started last week when she took out the macaroons from the fridge and threw them away. So weird. Blair had always loved macaroons. And when asked why, she answered;

"They smell like butter and garlic. It's just disgusting."

"No, they smell like vanilla and coconut oil." Serena retorted. "And they taste wonderful too."

"Pfft. S, you better had your nasal cavities checked. They smell awful." She rolled her eyes. "Mr. Bass, can you get me something?"

Chuck scratched his eye, waiting for Blair to go on with her request. She would demand anyway, even if he'd say no.

"I wanna eat snails." Blair clapped.

"Escargot?" He raised a brow.

"And those saucy goose livers. Or were they duck livers?"

"Foie gras?" Serena leaned closer."

"And Mr. Bass..." Her eyes met his. He looked freaked out. "See if you could order an Ossetra caviar for me. I've been really up to it these weeks."

Chuck couldn't help but think if Blair is forcing herself again into a disorderly state. She hasn't been quite bending over the toilet seat for a while, but over the past two months, it's been going on pretty frequently. He couldn't think of any event that upset her for her to throw up one morning in the middle of their lovemaking.

"God S, look at that." Blair sneered. "The man is a total wreck. How can he live with that?"

Serena sipped on her cola. "B, he's just bald. It's not really a big of a deal."

"Yeah, sure." She scoffed. "It wouldn't have been if our crowning glories wouldn't define our very selves. It's speaks S. The hair speaks."

"What is the matter with you?"

"Chuck. Oh my god. What if he went bald?"

Serena stood up and pulled her hand. "Well... I have to admit, it would really look awful. C'mon."

"Where are you taking me?" Blair protested.

"I have a feeling... We have to be sure..." She went over her best friend's ear and whispered something that made her eyes widen.

"What, she murdered your clothes?" Nate laughed, giving his best friend a quick slap on the arm. "I wouldn't be surprised, man. The last time we met she told me my eyes were horrible."

"She did?" Chuck cocked his head. "What else did she tell you?"

"She said I needed to have my hair cut. Then with the eyes, you know. She told me to wear green contact lenses. It wasn't really a request, or a suggestion on looking better. It sounded like a command."

"She had me looking for green mangoes the week before. I'm worried, that's somethings going on with her. At work or anywhere else. Something that she's not telling me, getting depressed and bolting out in the bathroom."

"I actually have something in mind." Nate smiled.

"So?"

Serena looked at Blair, then down on the thing in her hands again.

"C'mon S."

"How long did you say you were late?"

"Two months, I think. I didn't really count." Blair admitted, sounding quite nervous.

"Why didn't you?" Serena asked.

"I had irregularities like this before, you know. Oh, just tell me what the hell it is!"

"Why don't you see for yourself?" Serena smiled, handing the kit to her.

Blair took it, wrapped her fingers around it, eyes closed. She wasn't quite sure of the result she wanted to see. She felt scared. What would Chuck say? How would Chuck feel? She considered those. But no matter what it is, it's been done.

"Okay." She took a deep breath and found the answer in her own hands.

"What if she's pregnant?" Nate suddenly asked, causing Chuck to choke. "You've been married for a year already."

"If she is, she'd tell me right away." Chuck sighed. "But you know Nathaniel, a baby..."

"What? Don't tell you don't want one. That's what marriage is for, in case you still don't get it."

"I get it. I do want one. But I'm still..."

"Scared?" Nate finished the sentence. "Look Chuck Bass, you're different. You're not who you used to be. You've grown, and a responsible person at that."

Chuck gave an apologetic look that made Nate laugh.

"Really. You handled Blair Waldorf. You handled Bass Industries. You handled the Empire. You could handle a Bass junior."

He didn't really give a reply, but the smile on his face told Nate that Chuck was indeed believing in every word he said. And that he was ready for a family.

His phone rang. It was Blair.

"Maybe she'll tell you now." Nate smiled.

Mr. Bass arrived earlier for lunch and found his hotel room quite changed. The drapes were gold and his clothes were still on the floor. There were flowers on the table. They were tulips this morning. Now, they were sunflowers, dying actually, fumigating the whole area with a stench he couldn't quite digest.

"Oh my god!" Blair suddenly bolted from the door.

"Blair, why is there sunflower in here?" Chuck looked at her. "Could you—"

"I told you to get rid of that Helmut necktie." She groaned, pulling it off of her husband. "This is not beautiful." She threw it among the clothes on the floor and looked dearly at him.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" He broke.

"Heavens!" Blair shouted. "You smell like Lacoste Challenge!"

"Yes, why?" Before she could say a thing, her stomach churned and he could see that she was going to blow.

"Oh, c'mon Blair!" He led her to the bathroom, and not a second longer, she retched. Chuck stood by the door, thinking how to ask her about Nate's idea of her being pregnant. Instead, his words were of ;

"Did I do something to upset you? Did something happen to you at work for you to act so weird these weeks, eat that much, snarl at people, rummaging through my closet and then run to the bathroom for cover? Tell me. I'm here."

She coughed, wiping her lips with her hand. "Please, Mr. Bass. Get rid of that stinky perfume your so into."

"Why? He sat down next to her.

Blair smiled, taking his hand and putting it in her belly. "Because Bass junior doesn't really appreciate it."

The Perfect Chapter...

2010-05-03T20:57:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in two months!

2010-05-03T20:54:00.000-07:00

No matter, it's not how frequent you do it.

Kikoeru

2010-03-01T05:48:00.000-08:00

Was there a song that struck you really really deep? Like you listen to it a gazillion times that even your friends got tired of hearing you sing it? A song you carried with you all the way even if it debut five years ago? A song that others think of as “laos”, “pan-os”, and other outdated names they’d brand it?

We always hear people utter that music can soothe a savage beast. They also declare that music is the language of the soul. Didn’t ABBA say thank you for the music? That without a song or dance what are we? So, thank you for the music. For all the joy they’ve given.
Like most people, I enjoy the refreshment songs could offer. I’d let my phone play MP3s, fall asleep, and wake up the next morning only to find out my batteries were dead hours ago. I’d then turn on the DVD player, swish in a disc, and lip synch a song while I iron my uniform.

Beauty queen of only eighteen. It started like that. And it didn’t take me long to realize how much the song meant to me. I know, we like or listen to something because we can relate to it. The lyrics tell us to be angry, move on, cry and let go, smile and be proud, wait, forgive and forget, et cetera. Like the thoughtful words of a friend, the stammering sermon of our parents, or the cool whispers of a better half, song lyrics reach our heartstrings in many ways, feelings, and delivery that made it a powerful channel of self-expression.

I don’t mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain. These are the exact words I am hearing now. Settling myself in front of the monitor, I can’t help myself but smile. The song is ringing in my ears and I’m visualizing rain outside and a glass of milk on this table. That would be just perfect. Even more perfect if someone is really spending tonight out on my corner in the pouring rain. Haha.

How would it be if there were no songs? I can imagine a tiny detail of it. Music for us will be the belches of vehicles. The chatter of the city folks. Cries of urine-drenched children while their mommies are drunk in nonsense gossip. Our literature will be reduced to poems and stories that sadly, most people tend to ignore. Why do politicians create jingles that even they themselves think are ridiculous? It is because songs are often heard more than any other auditory media. And also because they have beats and tunes that people can dance to. Lyrics and rhymes are easily caught by the masses. People make fun of political jingles by singing it exaggeratedly over and over. And that emphasis and exaggeration makes other people remember “si Gloria Labandera,” or “Akala mo blah-blah..” highly making some politicians being known well.
Ahem. I got carried away back there. I lost my sense of coherence. Pardon me.

My heart is full and my door is always open you can come anytime you want. Words can do much. Even much more when turned into song lyrics. Sometimes, If I need someone to talk to, I’d grab a scratch paper and dab my feelings on to it while listening to songs. It’s as if the songs were my friends, telling me everything’s okay and tomorrow’s another day. Like they were exactly spelling out what I needed to do. The power of songs isn’t limited to these. Haven’t you noticed? We get LSS (Last Song Syndrome) a lot. And unconsciously, too.
I’ve played my favorite song for six times already during this hour. The voice faded. The song was replaced with another. But even after five years of singing along with Maroon 5, yeah, She will be loved.

2010-02-10T22:43:00.000-08:00

"I want to go back to thinking that the world of magic is merely a clever trick, that people are superstitious, that anything science cannot explain has no right to exist."

-Heron Ryan
Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho

Found this at Chiui's tumblr:

For the first time

2010-02-06T02:24:00.000-08:00

I met my real grandfather a couple of minutes ago.
It was the first time I've ever seen him.

It was nothing formal. I actually ignored the man standing in front of my real grandmother and headed straight to the phone booth to make a quick call. And when I came back, he was introduced to me.

There was no special feeling. There was no lukso ng dugo. Even for my real grandmother and aunts.

I don't really give a damn. I'm happy without them anyway.

Lost in my sent folder

2010-02-04T01:58:00.000-08:00

When Jeric grabbed me by the elbow and told me to write an essay so we could win a free trip to Japan, I hurriedly dug up my thoughts. I always wanted to go to Japan. I'm an otaku, after all. So, even I didn't really win (I actually didn't know how to join, I just sent S23 an e-mail.) I pulled this essay out of mt sent folder.

Ohayou gozaimasu… Doo itashimashite… Konnichiwa…

These are just some bits and pieces of Nihongo I came to know after being totally hooked to Japanese anime. Kokonidaremo eikyuu ni sumu kotogadekinai. Nobody here can live forever. It’s always been a frustration of mine to learn the language, and actually a death wish to set foot on the Land of the Rising Sun. And now comes a great opportunity; Gimik Spot: Tokyo .

So what is it in Tokyo that draws me so much? Other than the inspiration and entertainment I get from watching Japanese animes, I’ve been cosplaying a lot at school but it wasn’t received very well. And when I saw Rated K’s Japan feature, it was a bang. Harajuku, Tokyo -where fashion is a passion. I thought of myself walking on the streets wearing tights and fluffy puffy boots or dye my hair purple and nobody would think I’ve lost my mind.

Another nifty place would be the TV Tokyo station. The sets, the shows, and of course, the stars! I’ve been dreaming of a date with Oguri Shun after watching Hana Yori Dango. I’d love a snapshot photo with Matsumoto Jun, our fingers forming the peace sign with smiles on our faces. I’d also appreciate if Ikuta Toma would kiss my cheek before waving goodbye.

Of course, who would forget the famous Tokyo tower? Me and my friends are hoping we’d be up there, over seeing the whole of Tokyo and some nearby cities. Maybe we could even spot the oh-so-wonderful Mount Fuji .

I don’t know a lot of spots in Tokyo , but judging from animes I’ve viewed, even the streets look cool and glamorous. The takoyaki stands, the okonomiyaki restaurants, the noodle houses… I wonder when Naruto and I can share a bowl of ramen. Oh, and don’t forget the hot springs . They are just fabulous!

I believe Tokyo is an amazing place. A place of concrete progress with a mixture of modern technology and traditional culture. I guess, that is why the country Japan is prosperous. They don’t shun the old. Instead, they nourish it and welcome the rise of modernization as they do.

In animes, during festivals, the girls were their kimonos or yukatas to show their being one with the celeberation without being told to. During our buwan ng wika in high school , we were asked to wear Filipinianas, but some of my classmates didn’t. That’s what’s so wrong about my generation today. They reject the old, because there is something new.

So why bring me and my friends there? It’s because we want to. We want to experience the thrill of traveling. We love Japan just as we love the Philippines . Being fans of a foreign world doesn’t make us less nationalistic of our country. Other than the fun of it and the tourist sights, we want to see what is in that foreign world that makes it powerful. If we do, we’d bring it here in our own country and I believe, my friends believe, that someday…the Philippines will be recognized as one of the world’s best.

Okay, i admit. I wasn't quite honest about this. I need to work on my patriotism.

It's that month again

2010-02-03T19:03:00.000-08:00

I welcome the season of love with balloons!

Have a great Heart's month dearies^^

Things that make me go...well, me.

2010-01-31T22:18:00.000-08:00

I couldn't actually remember the last time our family has been out on a weekend, complete. But it's great that at the very end of January, we got to be together for shopping.

I've been looking a lot for Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being since I read it in one of the fan fictions my bestie told me to go over. I was shot with an arrow of curiosity and I decided I have to read the book. And guess what?

I bought my first National Bookstore book yesterday^^. Thanks to my mom for the additional 100 pesos.

Apart from the joy that was the novel, I still can't get enough of DVD marathons. i paused drooling over Gossip Girl for a while and I ultimately shiver every time I watched Save The Last Dance for Me, a Korean drama series.

I've watched it six or so years ago and it still doesn't fail to make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy!

Ever since I watched this at ABS, I figured that this is totally MY FAVORITE Korean drama ever! True that it's not that of a RomCom (which people usually go for), I am a self-proclaimed (well, kinda) Drama lover. And I just love how the plot goes for two people in love. The drama thing isn't that heavy is the reason why i love it the most. It couldn't bring out buckets of tears from you, but it can make you misty-eyed and make you go awwww....

The events look complicated but it's actually not. It doesn't annoy you to watch their lives getting topsy turvy, unlike other exaggerated series twists that make a major turn-off.

Honestly, I love how Ji Seong and Eugene Kim look together, but sadly, Ji Seong is dating Lee Bo Young at the moment. No offense to Bo Young, but the Eugene-Seong pairing doesn't only create sparks, it creates fireworks.

Exposed film

2010-01-15T22:03:00.000-08:00

I'm writing entries like fan fictions.. Sorry.

It's a director's frustration that he or she couldn't direct things when everything else ran over the place like scattered leaves in autumn. It's not that I have to control every minor detail about the flick I'm working on, it's that this movie I've been directing isn't actually going on as planned. It may be bad for my own life story to be analogous to a movie set where everything has been already laid flat on the desk. It sure is really, because our lives aren't like motion pictures. They're unpredictable, not scripted, but I believe life can be controlled.

And so much for the belief I had on my own abilities. It's being going on the wrong foot since I came back from Vermont(?). I thought this boy I'd left here in Brooklyn would be the same person I knew when I came back. But guess what? He's got a girlfriend. And it frustrated me the most because he told me he loved me before we moved. And there I was, desperately trying to win his attention for the second time when I realized he's just not that into me. He'd just be my best friend. For always, for forever. And came a knock on my head when Drama King with the bangs kissed me on in front of the doorstep which was utterly awkward yet great. Being with him just made it more complicated because his ex-girlfriend, the Queen B, she just had to be a bitch who drags down everyone into her issues, especially with Mr. Closet coward. Ah, Mr. Closet coward, Drama King's best friend. I thought he was just another demon in the face of New York, but seeing how his father treated him made me feel more pitiful for him.

It was fun, being with Drama King. He was just so good and he makes me smile. And though I always say that rich people suck, I actually enjoy those parties I even crashed at some of them. With him, it was just great. And there's no word I could use to say how much I loved him.

I may have lost control of my life when we broke up. Anyhow, I didn't even know the reason in the first place. It was just... and that's it. Even turned up more curves when he and my bestie's little sister the Rebellious One spread their affair on gossip girl. A kiss, just that. I just hated it when he came back to me and I wanted to push him away and I couldn't. I just couldn't.

This whole being with the rich thing had put a spin on my video camera. I even sneered at my best friend because he was riding a limo to a coffee shop bringing in his signature leather wallet with hundreds of dollars in it. And just weeks after, a threesome with him and his new famous actress girlfriend made me hate myself.

Then they broke up. And he turned to me saying that he loves me. I just wanted to punch him then. After all that has happened, why me?

Now I've totally lost control of my head.

Clasped Fingers

2010-01-13T17:24:00.001-08:00

It wasn't supposed to happen.

But it did. Recalling how long we've been "friends" certainly gave me time to think about what happened, about what we've done, and about what would happen next. She has been my best friend's girlfriend since birth and I've known her a little more than just that. That even though we see each other as plain as water, partly ,we have been seeing ourselves through it too.

She's twisted, insecure, and she causes trouble to other people to satisfy her whims or cover for her insecurities. It might sound cruel, but from the world we live in, that's just the basics of holding the universe in the palm of your hand. I've done those too. When she have sass and attitude on her, I have money to talk for me. Throwing away a thousand or two doesn't really hurt our pockets as so as we feel certainly good. And by that I meant free yet secured.

Free. Secured. How do we really define these two? I'd probably say that both are subjective the fact that everyone has there own meaning of freedom and security. We didn't really think about the consequences of our actions at the back of this very limo because I believe that we both felt free and secured, aside from the fact that it was utterly a great sensation.

The moment she stood up there, up the twinkling stage at Victrola, I saw a different Blair. Sure, she had curves. She had moves. She had beauty. And I had told her she was amazing. But aside from the things that I could notice with a first look, I saw a genuine smile on her face. Not like those smiles she had after getting an award. Not like those smiles she gave Nate after a quick kiss.

It was a smile of contentment. A smile that told me that she loved what she was doing. A smile that I couldn't get out of my dreams since she showed me.

But what's the use of daydreaming when it can't be a reality?

And I had never thought, not in a million years, that I would betray my best friend.

I just miss doing fanfics...

2010-01-12T05:21:00.000-08:00

She Saw Him…

One of the little devils found his target, a brunette reading her book under the shade of a sakura tree. She was fair with her short hair and dazzling eyes, but she wasn’t what he expected. The brunette noticed him and he immediately hid his blushing face, which is so not him.

He sighed as se stared at her again…

“Why does she have to read a lot when she’s already smart?” He said to himself.

He looked at her again, this time, she was with a blonde Frenchman who considers her as his daughter, but the devil knows that the guy sees her more than that.

The little devil sat back for a while and closed his eyes as he thought of how the brunette could tell him apart from his twin. He was amazed by her keen judgment and would consider her as a toy so he could get near her.

He returned to spy on his target, but she wasn’t there anymore. Where could she be? He stood up and wrenched his head in all directions, but her face could not be found.

He was desperate to see her and he circled the whole academy for her sweet smiling face. Yes, he found her.

She was sitting by the fountain, wading her hand beyond the waters. This little devil was about to approach her until she started talking.

“I have to admit the fact that Hikaru is a sourpuss and a total pain like what Tamaki-senpai said.” The brunette smiled. “But that’s what I like about him. Even if he doesn’t show how he feels, I understand what he’s going through, and I want to tell him that I feel the same way too.”

He smiled when he heard what she had to say. The little devil walked closer, and the brunette saw his reflection on the water.

Happy New Year!

2010-01-03T21:12:00.000-08:00

Year of the Tiger is In!!!

expect proper blogging after a few more days... I've got tons of errands to run.

Another Must see

2009-12-22T03:53:00.000-08:00

A V A T A R

This totally rocks... another Two Thumbs-up!

Slashed

2009-12-13T20:51:00.000-08:00

Ever seen a scene like this?

12-13-09

Oh God... The man just had to pass out in front of me!

kinda flipped

2009-12-09T19:09:00.000-08:00

Who is that girl I see?

I've been away for two days from this city for the 2nd Mindanao Human Rights Summit in Davao.
I had thoughts about painting the town red because I haven't been in Davao for years. The last time was nine years ago, skating through Magsaysay Park. And I had other plans too. Like bookshopping and meeting up with my best friend who studies there.

But I was there for business. and I knew it beforehand.

I was a different girl that night. I had a lit torch in one hand, a streamer's edge on the other. And together with the rest of the group, we stormed the streets with protest against human rights violations.

I didn't even think i could do that, shout and scream and all.

But it felt great.

And I think I'll be like this for the time being.

2009-12-01T22:22:00.000-08:00

LITERATURE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN!!!

Tsk. Tsk.

2009-11-30T16:34:00.000-08:00

I hate that I love feeling that feeling.

Last night was great. It would look bad though, my father was in the hospital and I was partying at a friend's house for her birthday. But I took my chances, I can visit him later.

And so, I was the last to arrive and I opened her bedroom door and barely noticed he was there. Liezel immediately hugged me, telling me how much she missed me. The USBs don't meet that much anymore. After a few moments though, when Kyra arrived, she screamed and hugged him in an instant. That's where I stared at him.

I haven't seen him in a while. And I just found out that he stopped going to school.

It felt awkward. Especially that he knows I had a crush on him. And he knows that I know that he knew. oh, heavens...

"May sala si Mary sakun bah." He suddeny said, while we were eating.
"Ha? Ano haw?" I faced him.
"Diba gintagaan mo ko gift tung birthday ko? Tung Bob Ong. Naadik na ko buh. Tatlo na ara sa balay. Nagpabakal pa ko kay ate dalawa."

I was overwhelmed hearing him say that. That he actually valued the gift I gave him and even swam deeper into it.

I was happy seeing him again. But I hate that I love feeling that feeling.

The smell of death

2009-11-25T17:36:00.000-08:00

The first time I witnessed death was Last May of 2008 when I was brought to the hospital because of mumps. Pretty lame reason, actually and my face looked so blobby that I had to wear my hooded jacket to hide it. So there I was, Indian-sitting on a stretcher, reading a book about how Tiger Woods succeded in his life. It helped me not to think of the hosptial odor that seemed strange to me even if I was in a hospital every year. It creeps me. Totally a factor that stoke out Nursing on my course list.

I guess, the only thing I can appreciate is the sweet fragrant of that young and handsome nurse who took my blood pressure. And moments later, that sweet smell was replaced by a sudden shriek of a woman, running in the emergency room with her daughters behind her. She was carrying a baby, a boy, seven months old-- all bluish and violet.

The nurses rushed to aid the baby. They placed him in the stretcher in front of me and I just had to close that book ( not entirely actually, I placed my thumb inside to mark the page). The mother was raging, telling the doctor to save her baby. And his sisters were crying next to him while nurses attach dextroses and oxygen plugs.

Before I knew it, I was reading again, ignoring the thought that Grim Reaper is about to take his chances. Then, it was finished. doctors declared the baby dead that day.

It was the first time, and the second came in two nights ago.

Victims of the Maguindanao Massacre where brought in our city and I got to see the cadavers in a room of a memorial home. They looked ugly, skins dark with bruises, stomachs bulging, limbs twisted and dry blood all over them and I saw one with his mouth wide open. I can stomach the sight, but what i couldn't take was the strong smell of formalin dominating the place. The smell of death... The smell of preservation. It sucks.

Please play for the souls of the victims of the massacre, especially to the innocent media people.

JUSTICE FOR THE INNOCENT VICTIMS OF THE MAGUINDANAO MASSACRE!

kind of off

2009-11-19T16:15:00.000-08:00

It feels heavy.

This day is just kind of off. Do you know what I mean? It's not a bad day, just not good.

The moment I woke up, I was diving into a day's hard work. I had a couple of errands to run and my dead cellphone just made it worse. I thought not bringing it along with me would be the best way to keep me relaxed. And for the fact that it was indeed-dead, it won't be of help to me. But then again, that simple device just cut off my air supply.

I kept on wondering if someone had texted or called but found no reply from me that made me feel a bit guilty. I just thought it wasn't entirely my fault, and I didn't wish for my batteries to be busted anyway. And so, I went on, trying to remove the paranoia of cellphone numbers from my mind.

It wasn't only my batteries that got the most of me. It was my hellish class schedule as well. It's just so panicking that I have to sit three hours straight with a couple of undone papers rummaging through my subconscious from the Academic Vice President's office, which I believed was soon going to close its working hours. I can't even concentrate well in class. And I had to skip minutes of that period just to fly to the office, three buldings away from my classroom.

When I finally got the signature, I hurriedly dropped by our org's office and found everyone in much relief, as if their salvation was just granted. They said they had a hard time contacting me. Dead phone. Dead batteries. And when I settled what everyone wanted from me, I waded through a meadow of carabao grasses and a plain dirt road to get to the Student Affairs Director, finally the last signature I needed.

I got back to class after a while, longer than my seatmate expected me to be away. And just when I thought I had everything done, a meeting was set this very moment by the College Council, which obviously, I opted to ditch.

Responsibilities. They really have to be taken care of seriously. I may be just lucky to have things done by this day and I'm thankful for it. This is just the beginning after all. And mind you, a little training. I still have two years to run a big college organization--a frustration that set me to work hard not to ruin a good reputation.

But truth be told anyway, it feels like a burden, that much of a responsibility. It still feels heavy. Even if had let it all out just now.

Lock and Key

2009-11-17T03:04:00.001-08:00

One of the best gifts I got from my birthday.

Okay, the cover's not like the one i got, but this one looks so much cuter^^ ms. Dessen might have dibs on body parts, i mean, most of her covers are.

I can't wait to flip its pages. Surely, this'll be another treat for me^^ Thanks so much to the BESD 2 English people^^

"Ruby, where is your mother?" Ruby knows that
the game is up. For the past few months, she's been on her own in the
yellow house, managing somehow, knowing that her mother will probably
never return.That's how she comes to live with Cora, the sister she
hasn't seen in ten years, and Cora's husband Jamie, whose down-to-earth
demeanor makes it hard for Ruby to believe he founded the most popular
networking Web site around. A luxurious house, fancy private school, a
new wardrobe, the promise of college and a future—it's a dream come
true. So why is Ruby such a reluctant Cinderella, wary and defensive?
And why is Nate, the genial boy next door with some secrets of his own,
unable to accept the help that Ruby is just learning to give?

The handkerchief I lost

2009-11-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

He was always the first.

The first to notice me by the door when I entered late. The first to greet me whenever something good came up for me. The first to scold me if I had done something wrong-this is, aside from my bestie. And I guess, he'll always be the first.

My birthday came up. And I expected him to be the first to greet me the moment I wake up, but sadly, my expectation failed me. I thought of reasons, top of which is that he just probably didn't have any balance on his phone. And it wasn't like him anyway. He was always ahead of things.

He became my seatmate when I was in second year high. And he just wasn't an ordinary one. He was a miser, a know-it-all, and not that much of a sharer, especially when it comes to test answers. I remembered giving him a bar of Van Houten where he told me that if i had food, we'd always be friends. Well, I hated him for that. Hated.

Afternoon came and my day was still dead after eating spaghettis. I waited for his SMS, but still, my cell phone remained empty of new messages. I even thought he'd try to greet me at eleven fifty-nine or twelve midnight. And sadly, I thought wrong.

He absolutely forgot. Okay, he forgot. He forgot. He just forgot. Damn you.

Almost two years ago, I waited patiently while he was resting on his chair after every dance, trying to scoop a chance to dance with him. And even before that, he said that if I wanted to dance with him, I should ask him properly and return him to his chair. Properly. I groaned at the thought while seeing him ask other girls and why the hell did i have to ask him instead.

I wanted to dance with him. Really. I pulled him suddenly and dragged him to the dancefloor where the band was playing Goo Goo Dolls' Iris. Dark as it was, I couldn't tell if he was practically annoyed or something. But I knew he was sweating. His arms always moved upon his face. I offered him my handkerchief, my favorite one. He refused. And we just continued dancing.

I felt lost. I didn't know how he was. I didn't know, but I felt it was time for me to let him go. And I did. Like he wanted, I returned him properly. I didn't say a word and I ran to my girl friends who were dancing in group. I hugged Alice, telling how scared I was of what he'll think. And as both of us turned, I saw him staring at me. A stare that told me he knew better. He knew better.

I lost my favorite handkerchief that night. Prom night.

And when I wanted to scold him, he greeted me a happy birthday one day late.

Lady, Lady

2009-11-14T03:26:00.000-08:00

I'm eighteen.

It's been another year. And this one was just like any ordinary birthdays. Unlike the usual Filipino traditions of debuts, I didn't have an extravagant one. Unlike other debut parties I've attended, I didn't have an audience. It was just me family and close relatives (and some of my kid sisters classmates... we have the same birth date). Unlike other debutantes who'd fix up in front of the mirror with their gowns, I was stuck with the clothes I slept in last night-my shorts and a hooded tee.

I realized it's not really that of a big deal to party when a girl turns into her legal age. Although I admit it would have been great to dance with my own set of eighteen roses and giggle with my own group of eighteen candles. But I believe that what matters most is the feeling of being loved by everyone around you. Tons of text messages have flooded me with greetings and my facebook account was full as well. It just feels great to be remembered!

Later this afternoon was the nicest part of it. my cousin and I watched "Ang Tanging Pamilya" and it was just so hilarious! I had the chance to go out and wear this semi-casual dress I brought days ago. I so felt like a girl.

And I believe, this day forward, life's gonna get better for me. Because now, the eighteen year-old me will be a better person than before.

Soon, soon.

2009-11-11T00:54:00.001-08:00

I'll start again after my birthday^^Hope you all could wait^^
see yah next week!

addition

2009-10-15T18:11:00.000-07:00

An addition to my collection. Swear. I'm gonna buy a D gray Man DVD next week!

nine down, one to go.... LAST SUBJECT FOR THE FINALS! YEYEY!

Got hooked

2009-10-14T23:52:00.000-07:00

I have my Finals examination so i won't really be around. There's just tons of things I have to take care of... and here's one:

My Pet, Takumi!

I haven't played for months now^^...

I missed her! I have 97 other invites at facebook but I really ignore ALL of them. I don't play any other games like Mafia wars or Farm town coz I don't really have much time in my hands. I'm a very busy person. Very Busy. ^^

a must

2009-10-11T02:19:00.001-07:00

Must Read:

Must watch:

Bleach Movie 3: Fade to Black

Fame: Musical 2009

Must hear:

I recommend them. And Veronika decides to die has an upcoming movie^^

doot...doot

2009-10-10T00:30:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling rough, I'm feeling raw, I'm in the prime of my life
Let's make some music, make some money, find some models for wives
I'll move to Paris, shoot some heroin and f*ck with the stars
You man the island and the cocaine and the elegant cars

This is our decision to live fast and die young
We've got the vision, now let's have some fun
Yeah, it's overwhelming but what else can we do
Get jobs in offices and wake up for the morning commute?

Forget about our mothers and our friends
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We were fated to pretend
To pretend

I'll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms
I'll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world
I'll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home
Yeah, I'll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone

But there is really nothing, nothing we can do
Love must be forgotten, life can always start up anew
The models will have children, we'll get a divorce
We'll find some more models, everything must run its course

We'll choke on our vomit and that will be the end
We were fated to pretend
To pretend
We were fated to pretend
To pretend

I said yeah, yeah, yeah
All right yeah, yeah, yeah
I said yeah, yeah, yeah
Ah yeah, yeah, yeah


....Time to pretend. MGMT

2009-10-06T10:54:00.000-07:00

A classmate in RE once asked us on her report.; "Which are you? Half-empty, or Half-full?"

What about you? Are you half-empty? or Half-full?

Alive

2009-10-05T19:12:00.000-07:00

I'm BACK!

there's still more work to be done, though.

But really, I'm back!

Missed me?

XoXo,
alia

Frustratedly happy

2009-09-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

Sa wakas...sa wakas...

we finally passed our movie just a few minutes ago. I've edited it for almost eight hours and I can't believe I missed to shorten one of the frames.
WAA~! how could I be so stupid?? It doesn't look too bad, but it's certainly noticeable. ahhuhuhu...

even so, I'm just happy we've finally done it. It may not be the best, but it's better than having only 50 percent of the grade if we stuck with our first group. hmm...

And anyway, I'm wearing a new uniform! ahahaha!

The uniform i burned while ironing looks brand new now. Lola had it repaired. Yey. i think I'll wear it tomorrow^^

niwei guys, I really, really,might not be around for a while. i still have lots of things to do in our org^^, In the service of others^^ hihi

2009-09-30T05:46:00.000-07:00

Finally! we're done with the shooting! I'm editing the movie and I'm taking a break to blog for a while. haayy.. Sana lang ha maapreciate ni Ma'am tong ginawa namin.

Leche=milk

2009-09-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

I'm dead meat. i mean, we're dead meat.

I was absent for the final shoot of our deteriorating film and we were told to shoot our own movie if we want to pass the subject.

Bummer.

I worked hard in making the srceenplay before and it was wasted.

Now, April and I are working on a two-man (woman) short film. Funny, i know, but we've got lots of resources. And we'll surprise the others tomorrow.

Yep, we're shooting now. Tomorrow's the deadline.

please. Please. Pray for us.

Relief

2009-09-28T15:03:00.000-07:00

We had a practice for our speechcom at the speechlab and Ma'am Touch asked me to throw a paragraph or two of my declamation piece..Haaaah... My knees were shaking. Good thing it the gestures masked the nervousness I felt. And besides, the only thing they saw was my face and not my whole body.

She gave me a perfect fifteen and told me to work on my facial expressions. Haaah... that's one of my problems.. but I was really thankful that she gave me a chance to speak infront of my classmates. I believe i can do better when the real practicum time comes. Whoo!

Now, I have to memorize that talumpati for Retorika. Wish me luck!

Drastic

2009-09-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

I ironed my uniform. I got it burned. Now, I have to patch that hole. Sighs...

btw, visit my story blog, Good For One Free Ride
and tag me.

Exit

2009-09-26T12:20:00.000-07:00

Seems like I can't handle myself without pouring emotions out.

I still have lots of errands to attend to and I previously entered I'd be absent a while, but here I am.
My blogging turned into a routine. And I feel relaxed with how I write. ahh...

So i'll continue.
Even with the nonsensical enties.

LubDubs

2009-09-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

Other than the declamation for English 123, we also have our talumpati for Retorika.

I stumbled upon Paurong's blog and found this three-minute talumpati;

SA KABATAAN
Talumpati ni Jonell Estillore

Titibok. Dug dug, dug dug, dug dug. Titibok ang puso at magsisimula ang isang buhay. Isang buhay na pinagpala. Isang regalong walang sinuman ang makahihigit. Dug dug, dug dug. Ang pusong natatangi ang pintig. Ang pusong sumasakay ang tunog sa mga ulap sa langit.

Binigyan ka ng hininga. Upang makapagpatuloy, kailangan mong huminga. At sa paglipas ng mga araw, darating ang isang pulutong ng bukas, at aanurin ka ng rumaragasang oras. Malulunod ka, ngunit–hihinga pa rin. Tulad ng ibang nilalang, gaya rin ng halamang umuugat sa lupa, lalaki ka at magpapatuloy ang pag-inog ng panahon sa iyong ulo. Sa bawat pagmulat ng iyong mga mata ay masisinagan mo ang kagandahan ng regalong ibinigay sa iyo. Hindi ka makapaniwala sa dami ng sangandaang maaari mong bagtasin.

Napunta sa iyo ang lahat ng iyong kailangan at gusto. Walang bagay ang hindi mo nakuha sa isa mong salitang kasintatas ng sa isang hari. Sa pagmamadali mo, binilisan mo ang iyong paglakad. Hindi ka nagdahan-dahan! Huwag mong sabihing walang nakamasid sa iyo sa hinaba-haba ng kasaganaang isinalang sa harapan mo! Ang iyong pagkadapa sa malaking batong iyan ay kagagawan mo at hindi ng mga taong nagmamahal sa iyo.

Ano nga ba ang alam mo sa pagmamahal?

Nakapikit ka nang ikaw ay pumili. Nakapinid, hindi lamang ang iyong paningin, ngunit pati na ang iyong kamalayan at diwa. Dinakma mo ang daigdig at itinapal ito sa iyong mukha upang hindi mo na makita pa ang kadalisayan ng kuwentong ikaw mismo ang may akda.

Ang tibok ay unti-unting napata. Nahapo ka, at nawalan ng hininga. Tapos na ba ang paghihirap mo? Wala ka na bang dapat takasan pa?

Ikaw. Oo, ikaw. Ikaw ang gumuhit ng sarili mong landas. Ikaw ang bumaybay sa salitang “buhay” — subalit nawalan ka na ng malay bago mo napagtantong ang mundo mo ay “buhay”.

okay na hindi ba? keri ko to by the weekend^^.

Pop

2009-09-24T00:38:00.000-07:00

My back aches. My hip aches. My arm aches.

Is it a sin to be not sporty? Of course, it isn't.

Out of the 6 tournaments I've undergone, I only had 1 win. Poor me. Truly. How am I gonna pass PE then?? Argh... I've got lots of errands I need to run. Maybe I'll be away for a while.

Take care y'all...

Sinabi ko sa kanya na di parin nililikha ang tulad kong parang timang na di parin maintindihan..

Broken Glass

2009-09-23T15:20:00.000-07:00

I promised myself i'd jog at 5 am everyday. I promised myself I'd lose weight. I swore I'd be back to my weight three years ago. I vowed never to eat when I'm not really hungry. But where am i now?

Losing weight really takes a lot of effort. I mean, really! My constant love for food is one thing I can't manage to disregard. i'm a glutton, a sinner! But who could resist the sweetness of chocolate? the refreshing embrace of ice cream? and the mouth-watering pleasure siomai brings? huh? Who?!

I know I can't. And I can never promise exercise. But I'm restraining myself from buying a lot of food and eating them. I'm trying not to pass by the cafeteria and hope I can really do the best to lose weight. Wheh!

Anyways, taa-daa~!

Familiar, huh? I also want to join but I can't manage the requirements! I'm busy as of the moment and god, I don't have a twitter account. haha. And I'm never gonna make one anyway. weheheh.

tsk. and I know I can never attend this once-in-a lifetime concert...

And, Happy Birthday to Raynie Cepillo! She turns 19 today!

The birthday girl:

Widget

2009-09-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

I've put up a widget. just for fun. haha^^

The weekend that was

2009-09-22T11:43:00.000-07:00

It was a long weekend. Won't you agree?

Even so, I beg to disagree. It was not enough.

Since friday night, I've been frantically busy with workloads of stress and diarrhea. My second year in college seems to be so hectic. My minor subjects are a lot more complicated than my Major. Activities have been held out of date. Weekend practices, late night problem solvings, in-between-sleep writings. et cetera.

Even the victory party seemed to be a burden. Del Rio resort was swarming with people. We decided not to take a dip because the pool was packed with ladies and gents commenting "After ten years!! A nice bath!!!"

Cyril, ate Jen, and I thought the water was dirty and it actually was. Sis was complaining that the water smelled foul and kuya Daryl was said to be itching.

Poor them.

Yesterday, we had to shoot our deteriorating film. No scripts, no nothing. After the simple, yet dumb shooting was our RE jingle practice. wTf. Too tired, I texted Jomar and told him I was nauseous. And he actually replied;

Buntis ka?

I fell asleep.

P.S.
☼There's a Gimik Spot Tokyo promo by S23. I need to keep my craving so I can write the best essay.
☼I'll upload pictures soon^^

Julian Morris

2009-09-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yay! this is my 51st post! And I actually didn't notice! tee-hee!

I've come to adore this actor after seeing his movie "Cry Wolf"
I recommend you watch it. It's pretty good!

Yay.. Julian Morris!

Changes

2009-09-18T00:56:00.000-07:00

I got a new layout! Yey!

Just as we were getting ready for our Impromptu for English Class, kuya Ernst suddenly came in the room, pulled his bag, and shouted; "Wala si Mam!"

Most were happy that Ma'am Touch was't around, John , though was upset. He bragged about how excited and how prepared he was.

Anyway, I got a high score on our major class quiz and I'm euphoric. I've finally memorized six short paragraphs of my declamation piece, I Demand Death, by Fulton Sheen.

Here it is, btw^^

My hands are wet with blood. They are crimsoned with the blood of a man I have just killed.

I have come here today to confess. I have committed murder, deliberate, premeditated murder. I have killed a man in cold blood. That man is my master.

I am here not to ask for pity but for justice. Simple, elementary justice. I am a tenant… My father was a tenant before me and so was his father before him. This misery is my inheritance and perhaps this will be my legacy to my children.

I have labored on a patch of land not mine. But I have learned to love that land, for it is the only thing that lies between me and complete destitution.

It is the only world that I have learned to cherish. And somewhere on that land I have managed to build what is now the dilapidated nipa shack that has been home to me.

I have but a few world possessions, mostly rags. My debts are heavy. They are sum total of my ignorance and the inspired arithmetic of my master, which I do not understand.

I labor like a slave and out of the fruits of that labor I get but a mere pittance for a share. And I have to stretch that mere pittance to keep myself and my family alive.

My poverty has reduced me to the bare necessities of life. And the constant fear of rejection from the land has made me totally subservient to my master. You tell me that under the constitution, I am a free man-free to do what I believe is just, free to do what I think is right, and free to worship God according to the dictate of my conscience. But I do not understand the meaning of all these for I have never known freedom. I have always obeyed the wishes of my master out of fear. I have always regarded myself as no better than a slave to the man who owns the land on which I live. I do not ask you to forgive me nor to mitigate my crime. I have taken the law into my own hands, and I must pay for it in atonement.

But kill this system. Kill this system and you kill despotism. Kill this system and you kill slavery. Kill this despotism and you set the human soul to liberty and freedom. Kill this slavery and you release the human spirit into happiness and contentment. For the cause of human liberty, of human happiness and contentment, thousands and even millions have died and will continue to die.

Mine is only one life. Take me if you must but let it be a sacrifice to the cause which countless others have been given before and will be given again and again, until the oppressive economic system has completely perished, until the sons of toil have been liberated from enslavement, and until man has been fully restored to decency and self respect.

You tell me of the right to life and liberty and the pursuit of happiness. But I have known no rights, only obligations; I have known no happiness; only despair in the encumbered existence that has always been my lot.

My dear friend, I am a peace-loving citizen. I have nothing but love for my fellowmen. And yet, why did I kill this man? It is because he was the symbol of an economic system which has made him and me what we are: He, a master, and I, a slave.

Out of a deliberate design I killed him because I could no longer stand this life of constant fear and being a servant. I could no longer suffer the thought of being perpetually a slave.

I committed the murder as an abject lesson. I want to blow that spelled the death of my master to be a death blow to the institution of the economic slavery which shamelessly exists in the bright sunlight of freedom that is guaranteed by the constitution to every man. My dear friend: I do anguish from the weak and helpless and has laid upon the back of the ignorant labor burdens that are too heavy to be borne, I demand death!

To this callous system of exploitation that has tightened the fetters of perpetual bondage in the hands of thousands, and has killed the spirit of freedom in the hearts of men, I demand death.

To this oppression that has denied liberty to the free and unbounded children of God, I DEMAND DEATH!

Kyaa!! I hope I can give justice to this...

Fed up

2009-09-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

It's been raining for days.

Some Intertropical Convegence Zone evolve to something greater. Flashfloods have been reported recenlty and I actually don't give a damn about it. My sympathy for others seemed to have been swimming somewhere for the past days.

Leaving that horrible truth aside, my cold virus has finally waved goodbye. I know it'll be back. It always does. I finally get to eat and drink freezing delights.

Though I'm already feeling good, I actually feel cold in various ways. The aircon keeps me chilling, but that's not the point.

I hate the world. I hate you. I hate myself. I hate everything.

I feel angry these days, stressed and pressured. Why the hell do I have to do things? why the hell am I being put to test? I'm tired of proving myself! I'm sick of trying to look deserving for any praise, affection, and criticism. I'm fed up of people making me do things because they think I'm the best. I'm tired of them blaming me if something isn't right. Why the hell can't I say "no" to people's requests?

why don't you try to be the good girl this time?

Sighs... Sometimes a good and respectful rejection is the best one could do.

2009-09-15T11:40:00.000-07:00

So formal classes begun after two weeks of fun. students still have the hang over after intrams but it's three weeks to go before the final exam. Ahh... sa wakas... malapit na ang sem break!!!!

I was shocked by the news that I only have fourteen days to memorize a declamation piece. I know, I still have plenty of time and I'm looking for a piece on the net as I type this entry. But I was really shocked! Why? Because our practicum was announced from the beginning of the semester! I never realized how much time I've wasted for four months. Now I'm rattling in the midst of memorization and acting.

The declamation is just one of my many tasks. I have to write an investigative report, an opinion article, three news articles, and a column for our publication. I have to run down a new script for our on-the-brink-of-death short film. I also have to supervise the banner printing for our RE class.
I have to shop photos for our high school yearbook because my other mates are busy (i can actually manipulate Adobe Photoshop CS4 little by little! yey!).

I don't want to do this. But in the service of others, I have to and will do for that matter. I now know how it feels to be a leader. May be not that much, but I'm getting there.--,

Buzz

2009-09-14T00:04:00.000-07:00

It's early in the afternoon, not my usual blogging time, but the only time I have for today. I've got three successive classes from 3:30 onwards and I'd simply go home after school to wash my other uniform. Procrastination has some prices to pay, if I must say^^.

I've been turned off by the fact that Syusuke Fuji is gay. I can't belive it. I had no clue that he was one of the secret Juan Magdalenas of the University.

It's been years since I started having crushes on gays. Why am I like this anyway? I know I'm a bit boyish, but it's a fact that I am 100 percent a pure girl! I know it could be the sense of humor and confidence I see in them that draws me completely, but I also see that it straight guys. Why can't I be a normal girl and chase campus crushes instead of mooning over guys who are prettier than I am?

I'm A psychology student but can't seem to find out what is it that's bothering me most of the time. It's so ironic.

Whatever. I am who I am and still appreciate gays in one way or another. Maybe, it isn't my time yet to drool over hunks. I'll think about it anyway. For now, I'll stay glued to people I really like, inside and out.

Bushed

2009-09-13T04:24:00.001-07:00

That's it. I'm never gonna hold a pen in a contest again. Never ever.

Finally! University week has ended! And the Red Hawks made it with a bang! Labeled as losers, we've finally proven that we are small but terrible!

we've gone up a notch and won the sportsmanship award-The highest award given! yey! I dominated the floor with the camera and took pictures of the winners. If you want, you can catch it at my photoblog.

I'm so raunchy that my shoulders and torso ache until now. I'm also planning to be absent from school tomorrow, but I musn't. I've got lots of work to do...

Btw, This is Syusuke Fuji:

I shook hands with him! Kyaaa!!

2009-09-10T03:35:00.000-07:00

The mass ballroom is probably on track now. I'm too lazy to watch and I ended here. Day Three of Intrams is going to end soon and I'm so happy that the Sanaysay is already finished! Pwede na akong gumising ng tanghali at magbasa ng mga libro sa kwarto! ye!

Pers time kong sumali sa ganoong patimpalak. Puro kasi Essays ang aking ginagawa. I'm scared nga na baka wala akong makuhang award. Nakakafrustrate kaya. Editor ka ng School paper tapos hindi ka makakasali sa top three? Kalbaryo ko yun. Ayos sana kung essay, always confident ako, hindi naman sa pagmamayabang. Sana'y sa spelling bee na lang ako sumali. Isaw lang. Next year, sasali ako. haha. Totoo. Kakalabanin ko si Rui. Humanda siya. Nyahaha.

Ibang usapan:

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang pumasok sa isip ko noong nagkaroon kami ng isang madali at school-activity related na pag-uusap. Bakit nga ba ganoon? Ni hindi ko naman siya pinapansin sa tuwing kami ay magku-krus ng landas. Siguro ngayon, babatiin ko na talaga siya. Pero kahapon, ewan ko nga ba kung bakit ako masaya noong tinanong niya ang aking pangalan, este apelyido at course pala. Nasabi ko ngang cute siya. Hay sige, aaminin ko. Crush ko ang taong ito at papangalanan ko siyang...Fuji! As in... Syusuke Fuji! yehey!

Walk and walk and walk

2009-09-09T09:34:00.000-07:00

before anything else... It's 09/09/09.

The city was dead when I went out of the house. It was n minutes past four in the morning and I walked from home to the university. It was no big. I only had to wade five long blocks anyway, chicken if I wanted to lose weight ASAP. So, there I was strolling down Alunan Avenue with my sneakers, looking at closed establishments and open bakeshoppes.

I always loved walking. Especially when the weather is fair. I sometimes walk home after class during Wednesdays where we don't wear our uniforms. I've seen a lot today. Other than the dead cat on the road to school, and the dead chicken on my home, I've seen a lot--Political tarpaulins, Air Supply concert ads (Yey! They're comin to town!) Manpower leaflets, et cetera.

One thing that draws me out when walking is that I could see other people. I was overtook by a couple in a trisikad (unfair, I was walking!) and I thought it was sweet. They were old and the lady was the one who did the paddling.

Try walking sometimes. It gives you time to see the things you can't see aboard a vehicle.

P.S. My feet hurt, but I love it.

2009-09-08T19:59:00.000-07:00

I still have the damned runny nose! At least I came back to blogging. I can't really get out of the house when I'm sick, but this week's an exemption^^ First of All, Happy Notre Dame Day! It's Mama Mary's day^^

Intramurals just started with a torch parade at the university. And This week will be a hell of fun. we failed to start shooting for our short film. I have to do a little changes with the script, thanks to my unreliable classmates. Bah! I have to practice my Filipino for my Pagsusulat ng Sanaysay contest. I really can't organize my thoughts well in our language. So Sad for the pearl of the orient. But I'm promising I'd do my very best to win!

I'm looking forward for a hectic week. I'll bid farewell for now! I have to wake up at three in the morning for our four o'clock fun run tomorrow. Dash!

2009-09-08T04:40:00.000-07:00

Chapter 74! I can't believe Tama's leaving the host club! RAWWWRR!

Cold

2009-09-04T03:32:00.000-07:00

Sinisipon ako. At ako'y naiinis. Nakakapagod gumising sa umaga na kailangan mong punasan ang ilong dahil sa namuo at natuyong mucus na bumabara sa daanan ng oxygen. Maraming bawal. Bawal uminom ng malamig. Bawal ang ice cream. Pati ba naman mangga bawal? Makati raw kasi ito sa lalamunan at baka maging sanhi ng ubo na kadalasan ay umuusbong sa pagkakaroon ko ng bronchitis. Ayoko nang maospital.

pero masarap nga raw gawin ang bawal. Kahapon lang ay dalawang beses akong kumain ng Ice cream sa mall. Aircon at Ice cream= runny nose. Sa kasalukuyan ay pinupunasan ko ang aking ilong ng panyo habang sinusulat ang entry na ito.

Kailangan ko nang uminom ng gamot. Sana'y gumaling na ako kaagad dahil wala ako sa mood kumain dahil wala akong nalalasahan. Poor me, indeed.

Isa pa, malapit na ang intrams. Wala ako sa mood magsulat pag ako ay may sakit. At iyon pa naman ang aking event. Pagsusulat ng sanaysay. Yehey! inilipat na ako ni ate Karen..^^

Hanggang sa muli. Achoo!

2009-09-01T12:14:00.000-07:00

The folks call me Bitch since I migrated here one year ago. I really don't care. I've been too lazy to put up with anyone, myself included. I could care less, knowing that people judge me wrongly without knowing the truth.

What is the truth anyway?

It is a fact that my parents named me Sidney. The hell I know where they got that, probably from one of daddy's ex-grilfriends. I remember how "that woman" looks when she shouts at me; "Sidney! You rascal!" Smoke was coming out of her nostrils.

I'm not American. My British butt tells me so. I fell asleep one night and the next thing I knew I was standing in front of Miss Liberty, not quite sure where I should go.

I'm stupid. That's a fact. I decided to leave home to look for "that woman", not knowing what's going to happen to me in this strange land, leaving my father and brother without a word. They're going to be worried sick. I'm guessing, they already are.

What sort of place had I come to and among what kind of people? One year ago, I thought it would be easy. Post some of "that woman's" picture on the net or street lamposts for identification. Find her and settle a word. Perfect. I can fly back home.

But it wasn't like that. I couldn't find her. And I give up. I want to go home. I couldn't tell Sylvan the truth. I ran away from my family and he won't hear such an excuse. If you want to go home, earn your own ticket. I can hear him speak.

I have to get that ticket. No matter what it takes. Even if I ruin my not-so-good reputation by flirting around with the town's Prince.

"So are we finished yet?" He appeared with a bag of chips.
"Almost done, Sire." I squeezed the murky fluid of the rag.

He opened the bag and munched on the fried potato circles. The crumbs were raining down the floor. I frowned. He took it.

"What?" He mumbled between the chips in his mouth.
"I just finished cleaning that part, you bastard."
"Oh, Sorry."

He wasn't. He climbed his couch and rolled over it.

"Hey, do you think Cici really loves me?"
"The hell I know. The hell I care."

A potato cracked.

"Have you ever loved someone? Yourself excluded?" He began again.
"I'm selfish. I don't love anyone but myself." I answered.
"I'm pretty sure you had a fair share of heartbeats too."
"I didn't. drop it okay?"
"What about your family?"

I froze.

2009-08-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

I so love this guy. ^^

Dean Fujioka. RAWR!

Gone GaGa

2009-08-31T15:00:00.000-07:00

Lady GaGa is just so marvelous. Need I say more?

2009-08-31T00:03:00.001-07:00

Screenplay finished. so happy!

Finally!

2009-08-29T01:31:00.000-07:00

Haruhi and Tamaki's first kiss!
Yehey! Ouran HSHC chapter 72 and 73 really rock! i can't wait for 74 It's been so many years and I'm still hooked to it! yayayay!

Butterfly...

2009-08-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

Nanginginig ako. Hindi lang dahil sa lamig ng air conditioner na nasa sixteen (16) degrees celsius and drama.
Nanginginig ako. Hindi lang dahil sa umalis ako ng bahay na hindi pinaalam kay lola ang tunay na dahilan kung ba't ako umalis. Akala niya Academic-related. Hindi pala.
Nanginginig ako. Hindi dahil sa gutom.busog ako.

nanginginig ako dahil sa mga paru-parong umiikot sa loob ng aking sikmura.
palapit na nag pagtitining ng buwan ng wika at kami ay sasali sa quiz bowl, pagbabalita sa telebisyon at iba pa.
sanay na ako sa mga ganyan. pero ito ang mga pinakamalaki:

Una, Ang 30-minute film na aming gagawin para sa SocSci145.
At ako ang gumagawa ng screenplay. Argh!

Pangalawa, Ang maluwag na talumpati sa intramurals 2009.

magiging first time kong sumali sa ganitong patimpalak at wala akong kaide-ideya kung ano ang aking gagawin.
Ang tanging alam ko, ito ay exptempo sa english.

sana ay sa paggawa ng sanaysay na lang ako ilalagay ni ate Karen. Sana. Sana.

2009-08-26T21:03:00.000-07:00

It started that night. That night when Sylvan found me wandering around his garage with a thieving intent. I can't believe he caught me! I was so sure he was having the time of his life at Meggy's, battering Cici's mouth with his own. It might've occurred to him that I'd use the party to shield myself. He was right. That's what's infuriating about him. He's perfectly smart. And even smart enough to install hidden cameras around his house and bring the surveillance along with him. And if those came out to the police, goodbye.

It was also that night when I started dying. My pitiful self, my pitiful state, my pitiful pride. I'm dying day by day. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a straight line, which is very distorted.

All because of that stupid ticket. Wait. Erase. That ticket was not stupid, never will be. It's all because of that bastard, Sylvan Jeremy Walker.

He could have given that cheap ticket for little old me, but no!

"Why don't you just hand over that ticket to get this over with." I'd sneer at him while hanging out his shirts on an ironically sunny day.
"Why don't you just tell me why you want it so badly to get this over with." He'd turn on the hose and squirt me, barely though.
"You're rich goddammit!" I threw a block of wood at him. "You don't need that free ticket! I do!"
"Yeah, sure. I can buy as many tickets as I want. The hell. I can even circle the globe if I want."

I gave him a frustrated look. He raised his brow. And the two of us were in deep silence.

"How long are you planning to do this to me?" I asked. "That ticket's going to expire soon."
"I'm just as hard headed as you are." He answered. "And it's not my loss anyway."
"I know. It's mine."
"You don't trust me that much, do you?"
"Not that I remember being friends with you. And I don't want to be friends with you."

He chuckled. A chuckle reminding me that he still has the upper hand. I hang the last piece of his Armani shirt onto the railing and saw the dusk coming from behind the mountains.

"I better go." I said, brushing my worn-out shirt with my hands. "I wouldn't want Cici seeing me here. She'll surely draw blood when she sees me snaking around with her boyfriend."
"And who says you're snaking around with me?"
"Wait for the other rumors. Soon it won't only be the snaking around you'll be hearing."

He smiled. What is it with the smiles? It's annoying. I walked passed him through the door.

"I'll be out of town tomorrow!" He shouted. "But I want my lawn clean before nightfall!"

I gave him the finger. And I'm out.

2009-08-26T06:00:00.000-07:00

I still miss Haruhi. but I can't do anything about it.

2009-08-25T11:36:00.000-07:00

Talk about a very bad wake-up call.

"Angel! NAPATAY SI HARUHI!" Angel! Haruhi's dead!

I remembered how I cradled her the first time I saw her. That was April eight this year. The memory is still fresh in my mind. She was unusual. Not like her brothers. She looked dirty with flicks of gray black and white and I never cared about her that much.

little did I know she was smart. Her instincts were sharper that the other two. She comes running to me then pounces, letting me know she wanted to play. We rolled on the floor. I shared my food with her, in a way like a strand of spaghetti slurped by two people.

I loved her. I always will.

She got hit by a motorcycle a week ago. She was never the same again. She won't play. She never came out of the house.

She slept on the varnished bamboo sala set two nights ago. And I sat beside her and scratched below her left ear. She licked my fingers.

I didn't know that was the last kiss I'll ever get from her.

She died this morning. Only four months old.

I cried. Grandma cried. Mama cried. My sisters cried.

Haruhi was like a little niece to me. She wasn't just a dog.

2009-08-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

I trampled upon the bushes. I can't believe I let myself come four blocks away from where the party is rockin' down the neighborhood. Meggy won't notice I'm gone. Not with a hundred tramps on loose drinking alcohol in front of her doorstep. Doubled even. The case would be different though, if Jasper did a head count and notice one sheep missing in action.

A sheep. Making it's way to break into someone else's property. I am obviously committing a crime. A good one. If there is some sort.

The front door's locked. I tried visualizing a scene in the movies where a "hunky" guy climbs a tree to have sex with this "pretty" girl in her bedroom. It came across my mind that if I get caught doing that, the authorities can not accuse me of trespassing since I came there for fun.

Only that, the owner's not there. I'd lose my good moral character certificate for juvenile delinquency.

But I just got to have it. That plane ticket was what all I wanted.

I circled the house and found my way to the garage. I was surprised. It was open. and the back door behind it was open. Lady luck heard my pleas. Thank God. I started walking towards the door. I clutched the door knob, turning it into a squeak.

"You're really persistent, aren't you?" I heard him from behind. I froze. i couldn't speak. I couldn't face him. I was afraid. I realized my hands were cold. i was sweating.

"Are you..." I turned to face him, slowly. "Gonna turn me in?"
"It depends." He said. "I wanna know your motive. You've been acting weird since I got that ticket."

I shrugged.

"Are you gonna tell me?" He stepped closer. I backed away. "It might just save you."
I looked at him. God, those blue eyes are like ice pinning me to death. "And if I won't?"

He leaned more closer now. Inches away, I could feel his breath on my face.
"What do you want me to do if you won't?" He smiled.
"Save me." I said.

He laughed.

2009-08-20T21:35:00.000-07:00

So the drama.

I came home with my Statistics grade yesterday and grandma started sobbing when she saw my class card.

She cried.
Tears of Joy, as she said.
I got 98.

and before she can embarrass my feelings, I went back to school the minute i finished my lunch.

I never said anything to her. I just went out. That, i guess, is the biggest problem I have.
i don't know how to show my feelings. I keep it, or write it.

I don't even say "thank you" or " i love you" unless it's her birthday or it's Christmas.
I do that to my parents too. I don't say anything. I can't say anything sympathetic.

is that an attitude problem?
I don't really know.

2009-08-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

I love Japan.

I've never been there, though. Bu i love how the country speaks to me through anime. through J-pop. Through Jdoramas, etc. There's just so much culture in it. It's very warm.

I wanna go there. I hope I can before I rot six feet below. No kidding. and France too. I wanna visit the Notre Dame catherdral and marvel at it. Add Sistine chapel in Italy.

Japan, France, Italy. they sort of speak out my being. I am a Filipino but a different being. A Filipino with a dream.

BtW, Part of this is false. I'm hungry and I seem to have lost my cerebral cortex.
Pardon the nonsense. ha.

2009-08-18T06:47:00.000-07:00

after all I've done to make myself happy... It was not worth it.

Never will be I guess.

I've been caged in a judgmental society where everything must be in accordance to the norm of the majority. i do abide by it. And I was happy that I have the freedom to do what I want but I still assured that I won't break any rules for that matter.

But freedom has it's limitations. And freedom isn't free.

i do things the way I do because it satisfies me. I'm not doing anything bad. I'm not hurting anybody. So why all that talk?

oh, crap. If you don't have the courage to do what you want then don't destroy other's self-concept.

i love the way i dress. that's it.

2009-08-17T20:33:00.001-07:00

Mom's alright and she got out of the hospital last night. she had broncho pneumonia.
It runs in the family. we all have weak lungs.

anyways, I've done nothing these past days but I seem so tired. Now, why the hell is that?
I think it's because I'm mentally and emotionally troubled.

my friends are fighting. they're at war. it's not an easy one. it's a matter of morality or something like that. I've been wanting to slap A because he's hardheaded. i wanna kick B's ass 'cause he's stubborn. C and Me are on a roll to bring this group back together but we can't seem to find a way.

I hate them both.

2009-08-14T04:02:00.000-07:00

well, not anymore. nyehehehe.

Motherless

2009-08-14T03:52:00.001-07:00

...Mama's sick...

she's at the hospital.

hope she gets better soon.

2009-08-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

Do you know what happens after midterm exams?

it's not a celebration.
It's not rest.
It's not a good night sleep.
It ain't even dvd marathons!

It's....

EXAM SCORES!

I've been more than enthusiastic these days. what the hell. It's not like I perfected all my exams. it's that I kept my goal in tact with my exam results.

I ranked one in three of my subjects. whoo. but i actually had more than ten mistakes on those, twenty even.

I got sixty out of sixty-five in Philo. too bad. I still feel sad when I think about.

it's tuesday and there are more scores to wlecome me. whoo! i just hope my luck for now keeps up.=)

Lost in a good book

2009-08-09T05:07:00.001-07:00

i woke up this morning and caught sight of Dyan Sheldon's Confessions of a teenage drama queen.
I finished it in four hours and thirty minutes. Yeah, I'm a fast reader when it comes to really good books.

My sunday

2009-08-09T04:58:00.000-07:00

My Sunday...

Scene one:

I opened my eyes and checked the time. I stood up and unplugged my mini-aircon. i climbed my bed and slept again.

Scene two:

"Angel! Makaon na! Carlo, Bugtaw na!" Granda knocked from below. Angel! let's eat! Carlo wake up! Carlo's my 16 year-old brother. i ignored the call and caught site of Dyan Sheldon's Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. I read it for the first time since I got it.

scene three:

I woke up and saw dog poo infront of my door. Stupid Tamaki. I cleaned it away and went downstairs where my breakfast welcomed me-brownies and Milo. tasty. Grandma was yapping about a new bag and new bras she'd bought for me. She really humiliates me sometimes. She told me to wash them.

Scene four:

Finished eading Confessions after four and a half hours.
It was past lunch when I decided to do the washing. She'd already done my uniform and the new bag. She left the bras for me. and I added some underwear and other clothes.

Scene five:

after much I did at home, I'm here doing this new post. then maybe i'll make my atricles later this night.

My Saturday

2009-08-09T04:23:00.000-07:00

My Saturday...

Scene one:

I woke up after grandma shouted, "Angel! may gatawag sa selpun! Omniana daw!" Angel! Someone's on the phone! It's Omniana!

BTW, Angel is my nickname, which I utterly detest. Omniana's our official student paper.

My granny got it wrong. It was simply a text message from EIC that he needed the money to buy our printer. So I was to meet him at school around nine. It was seven-thirty. plenty of time. i slacked off and sat around doing nothing until I decided to do some chores (i may be lazy, but it's true). I didn't know how much time went by when I realized it was eight thirty. Shoot! I immediately went up the stairs and did a spongebath and dressed. I didn't comb my hair. I simply tied a couple of strands and zoomed out of the house.

Scene 2:

I entered the school gates and saw Xyza. She told me to go to Rizal park where they were. I replied a smile and said I'll be there soon after I handed the money to EIC.

Scene 3:

EIC was waiting at the canteen. I poked him and smiled. we did some chatting and I finally gave the six thousand and disappeared.

Scene 4:

I went to the Library's net section and found it unproductive. I went out.

Scene 5:

i found my way to the group at Rizal park and watched the gang practiced their jingle. We also spotted Jenspag's boyfriend. A couple more minutes and I dematerialized from their sight.

Scene 6:

I was blogging from a cafe at alunan avenue and wrote my post below this. just see.

Scene 7:

I decided to transform my untidy room into a boudoir. but since I am not a lady, I prefer to call it my lair. that's where most of my activities happen. Clean..clean...clean..

Scene 8:

grandma shouted for the nth time; "Angel, malakat na ta! dali-i!" Angel! hurry up! let's go! we were invited to a blessing of a house from our balikbayan aunt with her Dutch husband and I haven't finished my cleaning.

Scene 9:

We were in time for dinner. We missed the house blessing, thanks to moi. Rain poured and a blackout struck. It returned sometime nd we ate. rested a little and went home.

Scene 10:

I began cleaning my room again and slept inside it after. thank God. It looked decent now.

good grief

2009-08-07T20:18:00.000-07:00

What time is it?!

finally! midterms are over and i slept well last night after watching Johnny Depp's Secret Window on dvd. I just love this Hollywood hunk. I love his hands. they're major turn-ons!

Last Friday was a strikeout. I had three exams. I was late for SpeechCom and didn't get to answer much of test one. Stike one. I studied my best for Philosophy and knew I got four mistakes! Man, I wanted to get a perfect score on it! T_T. Strike two. Retorika came in last and what the hell?!, I lost my exam permit! Strike three.

I'm out. I've never been much of a winner. Never will be, I guess. but i have no choice. standing on the home base, I've got nothing to do but swing my bat. swing it. that's simply there is to it. I won't do any fainting. I won't let myself get hit by the ball so I could run a free base. That's just stupidity. That's cowardice. A cover-up.

I may be stircken out of the first inning, but there are a lot more innings I can manage to get a homerun. Swingm swing, swing. bang!

I found my exam permit after I took my retorika. good grief.

fooling around...

2009-08-05T18:53:00.000-07:00

students cheered when it was declared that August 5 was a holiday. Who would be? we were in the middle of our midterm exams and that break was what we needed. well, we also wanted to tune in to Pres cory's funeral and we did.

the night before my grandma lectured me about my academics. there she went nagging about my grades and stuff. I ignored her and I watched Ice Age 3-dawn of the dinosaurs, Johnny Depp's public enemy and Sandra Bullock's the Proposal on dvd from 9 pm til i didn't know.

I know, i know. I should've studied. But why not rest for a while? just now, I have an exam on my major and what am I doing? blogging. yeah, it eases me. I still have an hour to study. no fuss. haha.

Cramming applies to my personality. I learn better with adrenaline rush, also, I take responsibilities for my actions. I am proud to say that i keep my grades as what my grandma expects. i try to live to her expectations without depriving myself with what i want.

wanna try it? tee-hee!

anything goes..

2009-08-03T23:11:00.001-07:00

I forgot who she is... but she's my oldest dollie. tee-hee!

ah... two down, eight more to go!
wait for me Philo 111, am gonna study you to perfection!
midterms... just long quizzes.
my art teacher said that my eyes are beautiful. no doubt about that. ha, ha, ha.

A yellow ribbon for cory aquino. just until she rests.

2009-08-02T04:29:00.000-07:00

visit my photoblog^^

horizonsandshadows.blogspot.com

surrender

2009-08-02T03:59:00.000-07:00

21 guns, greenday

Do you know what's worth fighting for
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?
Does the pain weigh out the pride
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul
Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms
Give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky,
You and I



I really love this song.. Bang!
I like Move Along too by AAR, but 21 guns and Move along are totally opposites.^^

step on it..dammit!

2009-08-01T04:16:00.000-07:00

Okay, I ain't the best when it comes metaphors or analogy. My mind is free, random, and unpredictable. Pardon the incoherency.

that picture is probably one of the best shots i took. I don't really know what's in the sunset that takes my worries away.

Our midterm exams are on tuesday and I haven't studied even one subject. I'm too tired and damn lazy to do any reading. I can't even write a good paragraph this time. What the hell is wrong with me? I have to finish a charcoal portrait of myself for art class. I have four articles to scribble for our school paper but I don't have the slightest worry of not doing my responsibilities.

Laxity, what a virtue. I am aware, yet they say, "the mind is willing, but the flesh is weak."

later.

life well lived

2009-08-01T04:06:00.000-07:00

that is a face of Philippine democracy.
she died at 76, no regrets I guess.
she had lived her life well..

may her soul rest in peace.

Paradoxical

2009-07-20T05:05:00.000-07:00

(07-20-09)

I feel miserable. No, wait. I am miserable. I got deep cut from the can of beef loaf last night and Jessan had to forcefully push my cut thumb (okay, i might've deserved it).

(08-01-09)

I found this unpublished in my drafts section and I decided to get on with it. well, I honestly forgot how I felt that night (07-20-09) after a miserable cockroach appeared from behind the monitor.

I am not myself lately. I'm happy and unsatisfied altogether. what the hell. I'm living my school life carefree but full of pressure at the same time. What is there in it anyway? Argh. My incoherency has brought me on the brink again.

P.S. teach Jessan, get well soon. Don't pass out before i finish my story. haha.

finale festival

2009-07-18T04:12:00.001-07:00

First of all, I'd like to greet CHARMAINE ROSE TAMAYO ESTANDARTE a happy happy debut!
Thanks for the treat. haha. thanks for the friendship. mWuah!

it's the 18th of july and it's special because it's Tnalak! yey.

I was so surprised to see my best friend with her hair cut short. I never saw her like that. No, it wasn't hideous-it was cute! she looked like an anime character. Tee-hee!

well, we watched HP6 and it wasn't quite entertaining. Okay, it was fine. but I expected something big. I was disappointed because I feel it wasn't that worth it. No offense.

I'm expecting a fireworks display later. and I'm happy that I will see it from my bedroom window^^.

the swirling vortex inside my head..

2009-07-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

Why am I posting every entry with a picture? heck, Dunno. There's a swirling vortex inside my head, inside my rumbling tummy. Darn, I'm hungry.

I got home late and slept late and woke up late and didn't attend my two classes in the morning. I was having a headache.
I might be turning into some slacking-off punk. of course I was, even long before my birth. ha.

Okay, so Tamaki, my puppy, whimpered in front of my bedroom door. He kept on pouncing and I deduced he was hungry. We both got down the stairs and he was still in his woes. I left him and went to look for granny.

Granny was not there. But there was food. hehe. I ate and so did my puppy. A second later, granny came in with porridge and spaghetti! yey! she won a thousand and four hundred from an illegal lottery draw. And still, my head hurt.

I attended by classes in the afternoon with a headache. and even if my best friend texted be that she's in the city, the pain didn't disappear.

*tears* This isn't something that needs medication. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm bushed. argh.
I need a break.

what captivated?!

2009-07-14T07:05:00.000-07:00

I never really paid much attention on the news about this "world's greatest entertainer." so, he died at fifty. What now?
My brother was moonwalking one night and told m how he really adores Michael Joseph Jackson.

"Kung may kwarta lang ko, malakat gid ko sa America." (If I had money, I'd fly to America) he said.

Over acting. I said to myself. The man's been labeled bad for one time. Rapist, whatsoever. But I didn't totally hate MJ. I listen to his songs. I don't hate him at all. I just didn't mind his existence in the world.

But seeing his 30th anniversary concert made me say "Michael, You ROCK!"
His moves defied the laws of physics. He was a total performer. He was and is still loved by many. Including me.

It was like he was emitting pheromones unconsciously. Funny how it got to me through a TV screen.

He was born to be someone. Essentialism. he was born to be famous.
*Salutes*

wandering around

2009-07-14T05:45:00.000-07:00

THE NIGHT MARKET

I took this photo last Sunday night after attending mass with Tintin. I had trouble with the cam 'cause I was cradling a dustpan and a "welcome" doormat.

Actually, I was going to take pictures of fish vendors on the streets of One Way, but they weren't there because it was Sunday.

I understand how hard it is to wait for consumers at a time and place like this (I've been like one before, selling charcoal in front of our house). Most people would go to the malls to buy veggies and stuff. The public market is for people who-shall we say- are economically challenged? ugh, I don't think so. There are a lot of rich people in the public market, you just don't know^^.

The picture on the right displays Filipino street foods. I call the first one "double J" since that's the name of their food cart. The second one's fish balls.
I always get a knack out of eating it. I don't know but I'm a certified "jologs" and I actually am proud of it. They tell me it's carcinogenic. I know. But Filipino street foods have tastes you can't resist. Exotically like chicken gizzard in flour. Fry it. wew!

THE FERRIS WHEEL

I was riding on the opposite compartment and took this picture just for fun. I had not ridden a ferris wheel for ages and I couldn't help the excitement. We were shouting and laughing because Eden was feeling nauseous and kept on covering her ears with her index finger. whoo! Okay, naghalakhakan kami pero pagkatapos nun, feeling ko ako naman ang masusuka... nyehehe.. di nga lang nasanay talaga.^^

Alia reborn!

2009-07-12T05:09:00.000-07:00

okay.. so i decided to dump my previous blog since it brings me bad memories. I mean, really, really bad.

since this is an all-new blog, it means an all-new Alia^^.
It might not be that I've totally changed who I was. I still am that freakishly weird invisible emo, my style just stepped up to a next level.

first off, I'm an ex-bachelor of secondary education major in Filipino major.
I'm a proud college of arts and sciences Psychology major. yes, I'm a shrink in the making.

I'm an ex-no-to-heels lass. I appreciate heels. for now.

I always used to appreciate art. Now, I depreciate that damned SocSci 145-Art appreciation. Ms. Migs is annoying me.

I've been hiding my cosplay fandom, now I'm wearing what I want. screw those people who look at me up and down. the hell I care.

The saddest part of my new life would be that I don't have much time to read books. I don't have much time to watch anime. and I don't have time to write my fiction. RAWR!

Darn it.